How To Raise an Adult with a Trust Fund
From: retirementestateplan.com
Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting and listening to Julie Lythcott-Haims, the author of the bestselling book, How to Raise an Adult.
Her message is one of how affluent parents do their children a disservice by thinking of them as “kids” past a certain age and undermine their self-efficacy by doing things for them rather than expecting and trusting them to do for themselves.
Overarching Theme
The main point is that humans are mammals and, as such, the goal of parenting is to teach children to fend for themselves and be independent. In her 10 years as Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, she saw a disturbing trend in which children from lower income backgrounds were far more prepared for adulthood than their affluent peers. College students of affluence thought of themselves as still being “kids” and their parents treated them as such. She refers to these kids as “Stepford kids” who don’t have distinct and well-formed selves, but instead exhibit utter dependence on their parents and, in many ways, are just mere extensions of their parents.
Age Appropriate Activities
Using resources from the Family Education Network, Dean Julie’s chapter on teaching children life skills is particularly impactful. For example, young adults transitioning from being teenagers need to prepare to live on their own and should already know how to: (1) perform sophisticated household chores; (2) prepare and cook meals; (3) fill a car with gas, add air to a tire and change a flat; and (4) interview for and get a job, including making their own travel arrangements.
